Had I known what the hell a Laminaria really was, I would have had a few cocktails with some oxycodone ahead of time and called a cab. Apparently I missed the memo and showed up pre-cd1 for IVF #1 thinking I was getting a sushi roll with a side of miso soup. Instead, after doing the baseline u/s, RE tried injecting my cervix with 3 "numbing" shots which amounted to holy hell in a hand basket, followed by the insertion (more like cramming) of a seaweed stick the size of Texas into it. The instructions were to remove it later that evening before I went to bed......uh yeah, if I could walk myself to the car and drive my 30 miles home first.
As I lie on the table, grasping for any part of it I can, sweating profusely from the pain, it occurs to one of the nurses that she should take my blood pressure. I think she is joking but she insists I should meet her in the hall as soon as I'm ready (which at this point is like never).
This is where it gets really good. My clinic has been under remodel construction for the past 2 months - basically since I started the pre-IVF testing. There has been carnage everywhere....charts, patients, office equipment, not to mention construction workers, boxes, and a total lack of privacy. I have tolerated this (though not very well) and Mr. W. (a super doc himself) has been borderline obscene about the chaos. After this special seaweed treatment I am invited to sit at the blood pressure cuff chair in the middle of the hallway with my shirt hanging off while the nurse gets vitals and boy does she get 'em! I am 170/110 post seaweed experiment, followed by 140/100 while Joe the plumber and the rest of the building pass by. My BP is suddenly cause for alarm and now there is discussion of cancelling my whole cycle. I am speechless. The nurse wants to get a blood draw and send me home to wait for a phone call pending the RE's review of my BP.........what......? And could you make your $10,000 deposit on your way out?