Saturday, July 18, 2009


Mr. W is on his annual fishing trip in Alaska. I'm sort of rattling around by myself (with three cats). I usually look forward to this week and typically plan a few girlfriend events, catch up on "stuff" that never seems to get done and just kick back. But work and a bunch of other crazy stuff has prevented most of that, along with the blasted 95 degree weather. After the holy crap that Mr. W and I have been through this year, I miss him terribly and find that nothing else I wanted to "do" really matters. And he has been texting me, wanting to come home already, only 2 days into the trip. All of this reminds me that there is so much more to be doing and enjoying than fretting over this IF crap 100% of the time.

I was thinking about all of this earlier today but then I logged onto Fac.ebook to see what everyone else was up to. I had no idea how hard those thoughts would be hammered home.

A guy I went to high school with has a 4-year old son with brain cancer. They have just learned after several surgeries that it's now terminal. This weekend was their Make.A.Wish event and he had posted pictures. To top it off, his wife had ovarian cancer 2 years ago and was in remission, but now it has come back. He will likely lose his son and wife in a very short time. Suddenly IF seems so minuscule.


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's son and wife - how truly horrible. I understand what you mean about how news like that can put IF in perspective. Life is so precious and fragile.

  2. I too have a friend whose husband has stage 4 brain cancer. Sometimes I think about them and what they've endured the past 8 months since his diagnosis and I think, wow, I really have a near perfect life by comparison. But you know, we shouldn't discount our own trials and tribulations just because they don't seem as severe or as tragic as what someone else is going through. Our pain is valid and it's real and it's important to us. We all have crosses to bear in this life. I think the best we can do is be loving and supportive and available to help those whom we deem worse off than we are, but not make light of our own problems.

    And certainly, it's okay to miss your husband and look forward to his return. I hope the time passes quickly for you (how sweet that he texted you about wanting to come home!).

  3. Oh god, that is horrible. I got chills when I read that.

    I hope that you are able to enjoy some of your alone time.

  4. It's odd, but they say if everyone put their shit into a pile, we'd probably take out our own--
    somehow there are no laws on the conservation of grief, or of loss, or of shittiness, or of horrible luck, or horrible prognoses.
    Sadly there always seems to be plenty.

    Sending warm wishes your way for some peace during your time apart from your darlin', but mostly, for time to pass so you can be back together.


  5. Hi K... I was reading through your past posts, and saw that you are also an out-of-pocketer when it comes to the ridiculous cost of IVF. I ended up dropping more than 25k before I got my BFP, which so far looks to be sticking around (I'm 17w today). I have almost a thousand dollars worth of Bravelle that I purchased right before I found out we were pregnant naturally and didn't need to do IVF#3. I haven't seen Bravelle used a lot, I had been on Follistim, Menopur and Gonal-F in previous IVFs, but my doc was also monkeying around with the protocol and wanted to try something a little different.

    Anyway, I'd be happy to send it to you (no charge) once you choose your new doc, if it turns out you can use it in your protocol. I had received some donated drugs and free samples along the way, and it was so, so helpful, and I'd be glad to do the same for you. Leave me a note on my blog once you know what your next step is if you can use it.