Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Change is in the air.....as a matter of fact, it really is in the air. It's 80 degrees today and oh so beautiful. (Sorry to all of you in the crappy weather belts.) As much as I love the sun, I'm still draggin. It's been a challenge to get past the emotional hurdles, once the physical ones have passed. Mr. W fired up his pizza oven last night (see Bun in His Oven post) and cooked up some killer pizza, so at least he got his bun in the oven. Nice.

RE ordered me into the lab today for an hcg - to confirm all was done and gone. Duh.....but ok I played along. Yep, it's a zero, nada, zilch. And herein lies my next movement for change. Could you pass me that records release form? Haven't decided where these records are going yet, but for now they're going with me. I'm contemplating the local University (ranked #3 nationally) or the Rocky Mountain Kingdom (aka CCRM), or Top Doc's clinic I visited previously, or another gig in a nearby bigger city. Having options is a good thing. And it sure beats stock options these days.

I'm also hitting the TCM circuit. Super Doc actually likes the idea and thinks he's going to check it out for himself. He's agreed to start acupuncture and the whole bit. In the mean time, I'm staring at a bottle of D.HEA, COQ.10 and some other nifty things I've been reading about. I also read about Pyc.nogenol for severe MFI. Any thoughts on this from the gallery?

And, on the subject of change, Mr W's health insurance is up for renewal soon. Since he has the lucky ability to choose the plan for the company, we're searching for one that covers IF. Unfortunately so far we've only got one option and it only covers 50%. But, 50% of $15,000 is better than a kick in the ass....or a stab with a $500 needle.

I'm seriously thinking about quitting my job. I like my job....or I like the tax write-offs it affords, because I sure as hell ain't raking in the bucks these days. I like having my own schedule and for the most part, my clients are really great. I tried "cutting back" a few years ago when we tackled this IF project before but I wasn't successful. Clients would call and beg and I would get suckered in and work more. Now, I'm at a crossroads. The economy would easily let me drift away...perhaps more quietly, but then I'd feel like I'm admitting defeat for other reasons. And, somewhere I have an ego that rears its head and wants itself flattered. And it's a greedy little ego bastard that wants to keep it's paycheck. Oh, change is definitely in the air. I'm tellin ya.


  1. I am glad there has been some sunshine to warm you at this difficult time. I totally believe in pycogenol (along with a multi-vite and cutting way back on alcohol). We saw sperm numbers go from 16,000 to 25,000 to 42,000.

  2. You sound chipper- inching towards happy, good for you! Glad you're thinking about the next step. I know it has kept me from getting bogged down (well mostly). I hope we get to cycle again together and this time get really clear, really normal and really predictable BFP's.

  3. I guess I am going to say it even though it sounds weird-- congratulations on reaching 0. This means you are ready to do whatever you are ready to do when you are ready. And this is a very good thing.

    I love your feelings of change and option making-- I love it when I am gathering options and feel like there are more than one. I also love the idea of you having something covered by insurance, the financial stress is so big, 50% is pretty darn amazing.

    I am jealous of your amazing weather, but very happy for you that you are in it. Please take care of yourself-it sure sounds like you are. I wish you all the best in finding the avenues that are right for you. Warmly, Kate

  4. oops-I think I forgot some zeros on that last comment-but you get the idea.

  5. Nothing like a good 'ol HSG to make a woman feel just great.....sorry you had to endure that on top of everything else.

    I can't say enough about acupuncture and how awesome it is. I have no idea what it may or may not have done for me in terms of actual fertility results, but it was so relaxing and such a nice change of pace from the constant blood draws and dates with the wand.

    Change can be a good thing! Looking forward to seeing where things are headed for you in the next few weeks....

  6. Yay on the sun. Still sorry it ended this way.