It's rather strange, you know, to have a few of you (like Sprog and Leah) "move" my blog into another folder or category. I've been known to be a bit superstitious at times and well, I hope this isn't bad luck! There. I've said it.
As I mentioned to Sprog the other day, it's like wearing a scarlet letter(s) and you just think the branding won't/can't go away. I find I am pinching myself regularly. Both in awe and disbelief. And smack dab in the middle of another 2ww for the ultrasound, I still expect the other shoe to drop. Waiting....waiting....waiting for it. I know, so many of us have been there before. Many are still there, as so eloquently posted by Sprog today. Go give it a read.
But alas, I found myself fumbling with the phone today. Calling an OB. A real OB. Top Doc's clinic said I could choose to have the u/s at Dr. OMC's or at my chosen OB's office. And therein was part of the issue. I had not chosen anyone officially yet. (Didn't want to "jinx" it....see, there I go again.) And, didn't want to go back to Dr. OMC, for a variety of reasons, one of which was risking that my stupid-ass insurance company would decide not to pay for it since it was an IF clinic.
Mr. W and I bantered back and forth over the weekend regarding whom we should select. We have 3 friends that are OB's, any one of whom we'd be happy to choose. However, they only deliver at one hospital - the one closest to us and the one Mr. W spends the majority of his time at. On one hand, this is good and convenient. On the other hand, it makes for a real lack of privacy. And on the third hand (if I had three), it's not the hospital I want to deliver at.
So we worked backward...choosing the hospital first (one that's 25 miles away) and then the OB. Feeling like I'd just conquered the universe in making the decision, I fell speechless when the voice on the other end of the phone today asked me what kind of an appointment I needed to schedule.
Voice: What kind of appointment do you need?
Me: Uhm, an ultrasound?
Me: Uhm, (insert life story in 5 seconds) I'm an IVF patient and my RE has requested a 7 week ultrasound.
Voice: [Silence for a second.]
Me: Because I have a pregnancy. (Like it's a disease I just caught instead of the swine.flu.)
Voice: [nicely] Oh, Ok. You need an OB appointment.
Me: Yeah. (OMG, am I really this retarded?)
Voice: Ok, who is your RE?
Me: Top Doc, in Big City. And they've requested a specific date.
Voice: Ok, and are you moving here?
Me: I already live here. I've lived here.
Voice: [fumbling, looking at schedule] OB's schedule is completely booked. We will need to talk with her or her nurse to see if we can fit you in. They are both off today. We'll have to call you back tomorrow.
Me: [shit.] Ok.
Voice: And we'll need all of your records.
Me: From all of the IF? (that's like 4 clinics worth)
Voice: Yeah.....Ok...thanks...we'll call you tomorrow.
I hung up the phone and stared out the window for a minute. It's an incredibly beautiful autumn day. The leaves are just barely starting to change color and there isn't a cloud in the sky. I could be fooled into thinking it was the middle of summer. I could be fooled into thinking this is all a pipe dream. I might have gotten on Sprog's plane off the island, but it hasn't landed yet, and I don't know where in the hell it's going.