Seriously, Do Not Try This At Home

Sit down and grab a beverage for this one...

My dear Mr. W attended all of my major past IUI and IVF appointments. He was very supportive, and apparently very attentive. So the last couple of weeks we've been doing this diet thingy and supplement zoo and oh... I've been watching the OP kits just to be sure my body is behaving itself. So yesterday morning I get the double line. Obviously, in our case, that gives us about the same odds of winning the lottery or being struck by lightening. But Super Doc has an idea...I kid you not. And so he comes home from work last night with all of the tools (seriously) for a do-it-yourself IUI.

And you're reading this now wondering if I'm a complete nut cluster and can I be totally serious. And the truth is, I am beyond serious. Now I don't want to go into extreme details. Mr. W panicked a bit when I said I was going to blog all day about this. I assured him his identity is completely protected, should the wrong reader try to pull some sort of malpractice shit on him. But I DO want to share some of the juicier stuff. And really.....please do not try this at home.

Let me just clarify that Super Doc's specialty is far from RE. And, in fact, he told me up front it had been years since he did anything that resembled pelvic work. (Uh yeah...I think I knew that.) And let me also say that the last time he used a speculum on me as the victim, he was in medical school and was "studying" during his OB/GYN rotation. I will tell you (but not him) that he was much better at it in medical school.

In any case, armed with the necessary catheters, beta dyne (which stains horribly by the way), a super special sample, and his bicycle headlamp mounted squarely on his head, he seriously and successfully did an IUI for us at home! It did take a little while longer....and he had to be a bit creative, but I will say our DIY IUI only lacked 2 things......the clomid I was on during the previous ones, and whatever the special sample wash is, which Super Doc modified. Oh, and it lacked the fees, the obnoxiously stressful trip to the RE, and all the other shit.

I was amazingly relaxed. In fact, I got the giggles and had to watch the Lak.er/Roc.kets basketball game to distract myself. I realize the odds of this working are next to zero. But honestly, I am thrilled we tried, even though I really thought Super Doc WAS the nut cluster. The best part was I got to go right to sleep afterward. No stress there.