Wednesday, May 20, 2009

R & R in Hell

As in Rants and Raves. I really should be following Sprogblogger's Days of Grace regime. But instead, I'm going to bitch. And moan. And maybe then bitch some more.

1) I have been saddled with jury today. Yes, it's my civic duty. And yes, I almost always serve. And since they can only call us once every 2 years, I can almost count to the day when I will get called. The courthouse is 30 miles from my home and on a cheery Wednesday morning, that amounts to an hour and a half commute to get there by 8am. I'm self-employed - have been for 10 + years since I gave the corporate timeclock the middle finger. So not only do I hate having to be somewhere early (and fight traffic) but I don't get shit done for work. Breathe......And so there I was in the juror room...the absolute epitome of loserville. I am horrified that any of these people would ever be considered my peers, but ok, I'll do my time. And then the judge says.....Notice all the empty seats around you? We had a hard time getting jurors so most all of you will be called today. (Duh...a major holiday weekend is near and I feel my weekend plans are about to be destroyed).......And a few of you will be randomly selected to go to the circuit court in BFE (where I live and have just driven from). And yeah, I'm one of the random ones. Shocker. Hell, everything I do is random. So, I get to pay my $15 parking bill and haul my ass back to where I came from. All at my expense. And I automatically get another day of jury service (tomorrow) as the prize.

2) Some young blonde driving a car half the size of mine flipped me off this morning and layed on the horn on the freeway on-ramp. Ok, I cut her off, partly on accident, & partly because I could. I'm sure she's done something to deserve it. She's probably fertile.

3) Ms. TCM has me/us starting a new diet thingy. (As if the lack o' wine/chocolate/caffeine is not enough friggin torture.) Anyway the diet requires a special trip to Whole Foods - not just the regular Whole Foods I visit, but the special super duper BIG one, conveniently located near the courthouse. Since I'm there anyway, I decide to at least get my groceries for said hell diet. I have to read every freaking label. No dairy. No wheat, oat, barley, rye or gluten. No corn. No tomato. No peanuts. No sugar. No tofu or soy (too much estrogen, ok I get that one). No meat (except salmon, lamb, buffalo, turkey, & chicken on certain days [WTF? ] and only organic/hormone free....I get that part too.) And then the BEST part. The bill. $333. Of fucqing groceries. For maybe a week. And then I get soaked for another $5 in parking on my way out because although Whole Foods validates, it's only for 2 hours worth of shopping. And yes. It took me 2 1/2 hours to read all the fucqing labels and spend $333.

4) I was conveniently out of Jelly and D.HEA. Would you believe I bought the LAST bottle of each at Whole Foods? Which means there are a hell of a lot of people like me buying this shit. They stock it like milk usually. Where are all of these people? Why can't I meet them? Why aren't some of them my friends IRL?

5) My bank called. My post office box was broken into almost 2 weeks ago and I had placed fraud alerts all over creation, and changed my bank account numbers. Someone claiming to be from XYZ bank where I have a line of credit called my regular bank to inquire about a disputed charge. Fortunately, my otherwise dense personal banker has moments of clarity and thought something was suspicious. Turns out, someone is trying to manipulate my two banks into giving up a refund of some amount to them. Unbelievable. In the mean time I spent 2 hours on the phone talking to both banks, freezing my NEW bank account until we could sort it out (which also froze my debit card at Whole Foods) and generally fucqing up the rest of the day.

6) I don't even want to start with the shit family and friends have pulled lately.

Meinsideout said she can't believe this is her life. God do I feel like that every day. EB says everyone around her is going through hell. We must know the same people. And the Angry Infertile just got the shittiest family crap dumped on her. And that doesn't even count the BFNs, M/Cs and cancels my other bloggy froggies are dealing with. Why is this happening to all of us? Why are we being punished? Haven't we all PAID upside down and sideways, financially and emotionally, spiritually and physically for this scum cloud hanging over us?

Sigh. It's a nice sunny day. I'm done for now. I think I'll go read Sprog's Day of Grace to attempt to refresh thyself. Poor unfortunate soul who gets me as their juror tomorrow. Clearly, I will not be their peer.


  1. Wow, these are our lives. I want to cry for me and for you and everyone like us. You did make me laugh about cutting that probable fertile wench off.

    I interned at the us attorney's office one summer and I got to sit in on jury was quite the experience...humanity scares me sometimes.

  2. When it r.ains it p.ours, doesn't it? I don't think it's a full moon, but I can't be sure.

    I have a Whole Foods 2 blocks from my house...I spend a fortune there! I'm glad discovered the possible fraud on your bank account...but what a pain to have to be on the phone all day to straighten it out. I just said to my DH yesterday, you know, to get the simplest things done, you have to come out swinging. Everything is a fight.

    About the blond who flipped you off, oh, i KNOW she did something to deserve you cutting her off. So I'm glad you did it.

    Well, you can always rant to us (you can even rant about people leaving unusually long comments). We don't mind, and you can come hang out with me....I'd offer you a glass of wine - and we won't tell Ms. TCM!

  3. I hear ya! Just on the phone with another friend that got dumped over email. UGH.
    But ... there must be good shit going on, right? Let us venture forth and find it