When Pagans Whisper

Every now and then there are days I never want to end. I can count on one at least once a year. June 21st - the solstice. There is always magic that day. The sun sets so late...the honeysuckle is in full bloom, the lavender is intoxicating, and the air is ripe with the official onset of summer (though summer arrived in May this year). I love that day. I love not wearing shoes. I love that the first garden harvests are around the corner.

But here I am....back on this planet, where it's no big surprise that DIY IUI #2 didn't work. And it's no big secret that I've been a bit (ok maybe a lot) depressed. Tried to have a few IF-free days....days I wasn't on the internet (thanks you guys, for saying Hi anyway)....days I wasn't consumed with what my body was doing or not doing...days where I found other things to distract me. Eight graduations, 3 birthdays, 2 weddings, 1 funeral, and a partridge in a pear tree this month helped...or not, depending on how you look at it.

But in and among all of this mess, some nasty little abdominal thing crept up. I managed to fight off Super Doc and avoided the ER one night, but went through 2 full days of testing last week. Got some really nice bloodwork done. (Managed to sneak in another FSH, E2, TSH just for shits and giggles, hoping the insurance won't catch it among a slew of other tests). Everything looked good, except for my liver. Then I got an abdominal CT (clear), followed by a GI consult. So what's the verdict? Nothing yet, and it means I get a hose down my throat next week. Yep. Endoscopy. Nice. They've ruled out pancreatitis and some other stuff. It's likely a big fat stomach ulcer (gee, I wonder why), IBS (big surprise), or Celi.ac disease (very unlikely). I had my gallbladder removed 3 years ago, so that's out. So the GI doc is going to throw the scope down me and take a peek. I'm so excited I could vomit.

So Mr. GI thinks the IVF and/or its drugs may have pissed my liver off too. Interesting. I quit taking my herbs. Quit the D.HEA. And quit just about everything else, except for this little blue designer stomach pill. So I'm in a holding pattern again, just trying to get myself well. Still planning to do another cycle one of these days. Still planning to get my shit back together.

Ugh.

But in the land of interesting news....a new IF clinic has opened in my town. That makes #4. So the plot thickens, so to speak. We shall see what this new development brings.