Monday, January 4, 2010

Don't Let the Door Hit Ya...

...on the way out, 2009. I couldn't wait to see the past year go buh-bye. Ironically, for the first time in 20 years, I had no champagne, no social activity, and didn't even stay up until midnight.

Instead, my new year's eve went something like this.

I lounged on the couch watching the news while Mr. W made dinner. I was feeling pretty decent overall, had taken my zo.fran on schedule, and had a nice snack. And then, I opened my mouth to say something? cough? burp? I'm not really sure, but all at once I hurled all over myself, quite unexpectedly. I jumped up from the sofa and ran to the bar sink while vomiting in my hand along the way. While finishing the job in the sink, I peed my pants. By the time I was done, I was covered in vomit and pee. It was one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen or done and I'm rather embarrassed to even blog about it. But internets, I wanted you to start the year with a good my expense.

Poor Mr. W. I could imagine the things going through his head. Is this my wife? Will this be my wife in 40 or 50 years as an invalid? Is this ever going to get better? Did we really want kids? All he could do was grimace and say "Are you OK?" "Yes," I squeaked as I coughed up the last chunks, thankful I had decided to install a garbage disposal in this sink, almost as an afterthought. I peeled off my clothes and left them in a pile in the middle of the floor. As I waddled upstairs to take a shower, I remembered the story Meinsideout told of vomiting all over her blackberry and new party dress in the car one night. At least I was not alone.

Cheers to 2010.


  1. Oh K, you are such a good sport about it all. Happy New Year and may it be less vomit and pee stained going forward.

  2. Oh sweetie, how awful. I'm sure at next year's new years eve you'll have a much better time of things. I'd give you a hug...but I don't want to get peed on. ;-)

  3. LOL, but at least it wont be long before you're doing exactly the smae because your twins have vomitted and peed over you.

  4. SO funny - I laughed and laughed and laughed - FYI - I also peed in the car seat that night too while puking.

  5. Definitely a good sport! I admit I got a laugh (imagery is everything). I think it's an absolute defense that your body is not your own anymore. And I confess that I have sneezed and lost a little pee. Pantiliners are a way of life!

  6. oh K, damn lady, you do Not know how to do things half assed.
    I almost laughed, but really, i cringed along with you on this one, way to hurl.

    And Happy New Year to you, may there be less of your own vomit and impromptu pee,

    with love,