Note: We are still in a holding pattern...32 weeks and 3 days happy.
This post has been gathering steam for some time, so I apologize for it's length.
In my recent boatloads of free time I've been planning two vacations Mr. W and I want to take with the noodles. Both of them were vacations we intended to take anyway, but are now reworking to accommodate the little guys.
The first is to San Francisco in July. Noodles will be just over 2 months old. This was a scheduled visit to the Italian consulate we pushed back because we need noodles' birth certificates to finalize our Italian citizenships. This will be a travel "dry run" of sorts. Easy trip, familiar surroundings for us, and an opportunity to test out a nanny we've identified. Of course, we'll also wander our way 6o miles to the north, to my favorite place. Mommy is going through withdrawal and needs her wine. Mr. W and I joke that we must break noodles in the right way, so they will grow up to be good little winemakers.
The second trip we have planned is to Italy in September. I've spent the last few months researching travel needs and trying to work out potential bugs. Noodles will be close to 5 months old and if the nanny works out in July, she will travel with us on this trip too.
I've talked with a lot of people who travelled with infants, including multiples. Many have said it is the easiest time of all to take them places. These same people have well-adjusted kids who seem easy-going and flexible as they get older. A triplet mom told me that often whatever disasters she imagined were far worse than anything that ever happened. I'm sure she's right.
Then there is the other camp. The parents who cast a horrific look at me when I mention our plans and tell me I'm completely frigging nuts. These people lecture me about how I have no clue what I'm in for. They shake their heads, roll their eyes, or make reference to 'my lifestyle' not being so accommodating anymore. Interestingly, these people often never left the house for the first 6 years of their kids' lives. Their kids don't adapt well to change, outside stimuli, and generally behave crappy. And here's the real truth - in the majority of these situations, these children were accidents-popped out like little farts in the wind. These parents didn't battle IF. They were never told they couldn't have children. They never had something ripped out from inside their bodies. They never had something die inside and then carry it around for months afterward. Mr. W and I labeled them "forced parents." Now, I am sympathetic to hardships others encounter, but my sympathy runs thin when people talk about how they went off the pill and couldn't believe they got pregnant. Like, the next day. Well, WTF did you think would happen?
And this brings me to my favorite forced parenting story. I've been picking a friend's brain who had 'accidental' twins. Interestingly, she's had virtually nothing positive to say about the experience. She dishes me most of the crappy side of things, and rarely shares so much as a single glimmer of enjoyment. I've chalked this up to her odd personality traits and the fact that she gets pregnant just by casting a glance her way.
So the other day I decided to try a different route. Her husband stopped by to bring me info on a product he was selling that I asked about. I expected his usual cheery self to inject some humor into raising twins when I asked. However, when I expressed our extreme excitement and travel plans, he grimaced. His face sunk and then he stared at me like a deer in the headlights. He quietly suggested I wasn't prepared for what I was about to experience, then mentioned every time he comes home from a business trip, he walks into a disaster. He let out a big sigh, then got up and left.
As a last ditch effort, Mr. W decided to call the friend's husband. You know, just for guy talk. Mr. W half jokingly asks what advice he can give for raising twins since ours are coming soon. The friend's husband says, "Dude, if I had to go through it all over again, I'd run the other way."
We were both speechless. Is it possible we are that naive?