Shock & Awe

First....The Confessions:

Second......today was beta day......
56!

For the record, Mr. W and I ended up finding a secret stash of hoarded pee sticks, so these are those. And also for the record...this brand sucks. Also, the last picture was taken before the last stick was dry, so it looks lighter.

Stick Hunt

Mr. W and I argued for several days about whether or not to POAS. He said no - absolutely not - for the same reasons EB's DH did. I said I just wanted to know. That's all. And yes, I know they can be inaccurate at this stage -both ways.

So for 2 days I begged and begged Super Doc to bring home some sticks from work. No. No. No. Finally, I announced I was headed to the store to buy some. Whereupon he caved. (I knew he would.) "You're not buying something I already have at work." Uhm, duh? So off we went (at night, when no one would see) to get the sticks.

Or not.

This turned out to be an exercise in futility. Oh, and a big fat eye-opener for Super Doc, who has just learned a few exciting things about his employees:

1) They're all raiding company supplies.
2) Pee sticks are a secret commodity to be hidden & hoarded.
3) When you use or hoard the last one, you're too embarrassed to tell anyone to order more, so you just leave empty boxes/vials around until someone notices. Like the boss. Who is...too embarrassed to tell anyone to order more. And doesn't even know who they order them from.
4) Don't expect them all to tell you at once they're trying to get knocked up, too. Just start hiring NOW to cover all of those maternity leaves.

Somebody Squealed

Number one nephew just returned from 3 months in Italy. (I'll call him #1 because he's the oldest of the nephews.) He's just finished college and just accepted his first broadcast journalism job for a C.BS affiliate in a smaller city in an adjacent state. Mr. W and I are proud of this kid. After a rough bus, he's turned out to be a sweet and hella-smart guy.

So I never mentioned how odd it was that he showed up to pick us up at the airport after our return from Top Doc's clinic. We hadn't arranged a ride with him, but our ride apparently fell through and so he was there. It struck me later as odd, because he didn't ask about our trip, what we did, or any normal questions you ask people when they get back from vacation. In fact, he didn't ask a thing. Of course, he had just returned from this fabulous trip in Italy, visiting all of Mr. W's relatives and testing his new fluency in Italian on us. So why would you ask about our boring trip anyway?

The next night, Mr. W and I offered to take #1 nephew to dinner since he would be moving the following week to start the new job. On the way to dinner, Mr. W slipped a real subtle comment to test the waters. And just like flies on shit, #1 nephew jumped all over it and blurted out he's looking forward to having a new cousin. I scowled at him in the back seat. "Who squealed!?" I demanded. (As if we couldn't figure it out.) I can't say....I've been sworn to secrecy.....he says. "Dammit!"....I said. "Tell me..." But all I had to do was mention Mr. W's mom and I saw him grimace. She is notorious for gossip. Notorious for wanting to be the FIRST to pass 'news' along. Notorious for wanting to stir the pot.

Mr. W and I reminded #1 nephew that this was not definitive and that it was still a private matter and that it wasn't that we didn't want him to know, but we wanted to tell him ourselves, and that it may not work, again. #1 nephew said he hadn't told a soul and didn't plan on it but that he was really excited and that we shouldn't blame any family member(s) because that's just how the family is.

But I do blame, and I am hurt and angry at MIL for making this HER information to share with people. And we can just about bet if she has told #1 nephew it will be in the newspapers any day. And the worst part is, there is really NO information to share at this point.

Sigh...I am trying to be forgiving. But I am still pissed. And I feel cheated and crossed.

I have to hand it to Mr. W, though. He had the guts to confront the root of our problem head-on with #1 nephew right then and there. In the car. On the way to dinner. He told #1 nephew if ever thought he might want kids in his lifetime he should go get tested now. To my amazement, #1 nephew wanted to know who and where is this testing and what is considered normal and what should he do if it was abnormal. "Do I just have to jack off in a cup?" ...was his question. At least at 20-something, they 'get' that concept pretty easily.

Parrott Head

Well, the fresh blackberries did not make it to the pot for jam before they rotted. Tail end of the season, and I was just not home soon enough. So I've been looking for other ways to pass the misery of the infamous 2ww, now 4dp3dt. Here's what I've come up with so far:

1. Finish the 2008 taxes before the final extension is up.
2. Resume some degree of work (oh, this is a hard one).
3. Get one of our rentals re-rented.
4. Admire the continuation of summer and 85 degree weather for the next week.
5. Figure out in what orifice I will stuff more of these tomatoes that fornicate like rabbits.
















Otherwise, I have no symptoms. Nothing. Nada. Admittedly, the peanut pellets are way easier on the body than the PIO. But perhaps it's just another day in Paradise without the cheeseburger?

Home Sweet Home

Hi new follower!

It's nice to be back home after what seems like an eternity in a hotel. To answer a few common questions and comments: There was no spa there. The room service menu sucked and I couldn't justify the price, so I skipped it (for the first time ever, I think). And the tourists drove me nuts. However, I was asked for directions a few times, so I must have looked like a local.

Home sweet home, you ask? Yes, I am home. Which means my transfer was yesterday. Top Doc's clinic notified me yesterday morning (after I called them because the nurse forgot) that I would be having a 3-day transfer in the very early afternoon. I guess Top Doc does not necessarily mean Top Nurse.

So it was a WTF, get the shit together, and get the hell out the door kind of morning. So much for being relaxed awaiting transfer. Mr. W and I scrambled to pack the luggage and check out of the hotel. I jumped on the internet and booked us a flight home immediately following the transfer, assuming we would catch the hail mary pass to the airport. And then we hiked ourselves and all of our luggage to the clinic. It reminded me of the luggage schlepping of one (or more) of our trips to Europe. Only it wasn't Europe. And clearly this wasn't a vacation.

It was Top Doc's Saturday to work and she was her usual warm, positive without being fake, self.
She had great advice and suggestions for our transfer decisions. The embryologist wheeled the little IVF cart over to my room and plugged it into an oxygen port nearby. She loaded the catheter for Top Doc. And then poof! We were done (with a little effort and a little pain -I've still got that damn cervix that's wound tight as a knot.) I chilled out for a few minutes while she brought in the embryo records and a picture and then said I could go. She doesn't require bed rest after a transfer (crazy, huh?) but said to take it easy and no lifting. I had already cleared flying beforehand, so we were on our way.

Our flight left 2 hours after my scheduled transfer time, so it was going to be a tight one, but in the end, everything went off without a hitch. I did spend the remainder of the day in bed with the purry ones but I am feeling great. No PIO, thankyouverymuch. And home just in time to catch the last of the blackberries for a batch of jam.

Now just looking for suggestions to pass the 2ww.

Sesame Street & Fertility Report

Do you remember watching Sesame Street and each day was brought to you by a number and a letter? And throughout the episode the number and letter kept appearing?

Well today is brought to you by the letter K: for K (that's me) and Kate at I Can't Whistle.

It's also brought to you by the number 8! Yep, we both got 8.
It's crazy weird, no? But all good, yes?

And the rest of my story...

8 - Eggs retrieved
7- Mature
7- ICSI'd
5- At 2pn
2 -Still viable but hadn't cleaved yet

Top Doc says she is happy with this. She also noted that the cyst that almost cancelled my cycle was still there so she aspirated it. And it bled. And she didn't know exactly what it was for sure (she threw out some theories) but that we should just watch it.

The bonus news for me was that this retrieval was WAY better than my last. I can't believe it, and that was after Top Doc had prepared me for a possible repeat performance of the retrieval at my last clinic. I think the cocktail was better. The procedure was quicker. I had relatively little pain and actually got up and walked the half mile back to the hotel afterward! (I couldn't walk for over 24 hours last time and I was brutally sick.)

Oh, and can I just mention I don't have to take PIO shots?? Today I started the peanut pellets, otherwise known as Pro.metrium. Tomorrow I start the Viv.elle patch. I've already decided that shoving a peanut up the hoo hoo and putting a sticker on the belly beats PIO in the ass any day. Now if I just put M&Ms up my nose, I'd be a 3-year-old all over again and I could yell at Big Bird on TV.

Twas the Night Before....

...retrieval and all through the hotel room. Ok, my mild anxiety is creeping through tonight. I don't know why. I am WAY prepared. I am ready. This is all good. And thank you everyone for your awesome comments and your shout outs on your blogs. I want to also mention that as I will likely be under the weather tomorrow (my last retrieval was miserable and Top Doc says this one will be no exception), I am wishing the best for meKate, T @ IF Optimist, Megan, Maddy, & Pundelina who are all on deck now or shortly. (Sorry if I forgot someone...)

So for today's post...I am going to list everything I did today. I know, this is dumb. But it's all I got.

1. Slept in. Then enjoyed my decaf earl grey with cream on the patio.
2. Watched the kitty cam
3. Argued with Mr. W about which flight back he was going to take.
4. Researched said fights since he has a choice of 5 airports.
5. Made Mr. W's corporate payroll tax and 401k deposits.
6. Did laundry in the bathroom sink of my hotel room.
7. Picked out what I'm going to wear tomorrow and what I want to wear to bed when I get back.
8. Stressed out over the pre-op instructions.
9. Argued with Mr. W about his flight some more. He tells me to change it.
10. More flight research. Override his decision and don't change it.
11. Feel tired and a bit grumpy.
12. Watch kitty cam again.
13. Emailed the niece who's in NY at grad school. She is bugging me to come visit. Might be dropping in on you, EB and Sprog!
14. Email the nephew who is returning from studying in Italy. I have just realized that the keys to his car are locked in my house and he returns they day after tomorrow. Nice!
15. Lay by the hotel pool for awhile until I notice the guy down the way has his hands in his pants. That's enough for me, thank you.
16. Walk to Trader Jo.e's to pick up some things I might consider eating tomorrow. Or not. Get things for Mr. W so he won't have to go out looking for food, and can take care of me full time instead. :)))
17. Decide I have been eating healthy enough and walking enough daily to splurge and order a pizza for my "last.supper."
18. Count down the last hour that I can have anything to eat or drink.
19. Consider going to pick up Mr. W at the airport. And then decide to tell him he can take a cab since it is almost 11:00pm.
20. Notice that I am achy and have these lemons rolling around inside me.
21. Find that Jay Len.o's new show is not as funny as his old one.
22. Read and comment on your blogs.
23. Set my alarm to get up in the middle of the night to take the 2 pills I am supposed to take with only a "sip" of water.
24. Admire the circle the nurse drew yesterday (that's still on my butt) so I could back myself up to a mirror and give my own damn trigger shot.
25. Checked out the lastest Face.book gossip. Which compared to what I'm doing, is really boring.

And with that, I shall load myself into bed. One sleep to go...